Where Do Our Insecurities Come From?

This may be a question you and many other people ask themselves a lot.

If you believe not everyone has insecurities, then you’re wrong. Everyone is insecure in one way or another. Whether if you don’t feel beautiful enough, you aren’t happy about yourself physically or you don’t trust your partner. But where does all of these insecurities come from?

Perhaps from past experiences? It’s like getting on a bicycle and trying your best to keep your balance. But you keep falling over, crashing into things and not being able to peddle without thinking you’re going to tip over. So you end up giving up – not even thinking about giving it another shot because you’re insecure – you have that fear you will never understand how to ride a bike.

Also, say you’ve been dating someone for quite some time and they betray your trust for the first time ever. Do you stay or do you leave? If you stay, how long will it take to build the trust back up? Will it even be the same anymore? You start having questions and thoughts running around in your head – you question their every move, checking their phone, digging through social media accounts, asking them repetitive questions because you want answers. But what are you looking for exactly? Probably anything that’ll prove why your partner is untrustworthy. Again, you’re insecure – but you stay because you think it could work out.

Here’s another scenario. You’ve always been fit your entire life. As you get older, you start partying, eating out with your friends and sometimes drinking more alcohol than you should, packing on the pounds without even noticing. You neglect the fact that if you want to enjoy all of these “luxuries”, you should be at the gym as well. Now you’ve gained weight and you look in the mirror every day in disgust. You’re insecure because you don’t feel beautiful. You think being thin means you’re beautiful. But you’re wrong.

So how do you fix all of these insecurities? How do you feel better about yourself? How do you feel secure with your partner or perhaps you want to figure out how to get over certain fears. Listen, we all have our days, the moments we feel we are at our lowest. But there are ways you can make things better. Remember, you gotta crawl before you walk – take it slow.

Build confidence and trust in yourself before you find it in others. You need self confidence to feel beautiful – start with changing your diet and incorporate little work out routines. Get comfortable in your own skin and tell yourself you’re beautiful/handsome every day – because you are! Participate in activities that make you feel happy or things that you enjoy doing as hobbies. You will become so great with what you are passionate about, you’ll end up loving the results later on. Trust that you WILL get over your fears and your negative thinking. Those don’t stick around forever if you have the drive to be a different person mentally.

Everyone makes mistakes, even the people we love. Unfortunately, it’s true – you will get hurt by someone you love at least once in your life. But if you want to make it work, make sure you’re 90-100% mentally and emotionally secure yourself. The only way you can build a relationship is if both people are in the right state of mind and they are on the same page. Talk about your feelings, be honest with yourself but also with your partner. Try not to move backwards – asking repetitive questions, bringing up past mistakes, belittling your partner. Stay in the present, love more and make sure everyone is earning the trust. Take it slow and don’t skip any steps! If things aren’t progressing or if you notice something is different, talk about it. There is nothing more important than communication. SERIOUSLY! Eventually if things go as planned and you both do your part, trust will come lurking back around the corner and you’ll be better than ever!

There are so many things one person can do to feel secure about anything in their life. But it’s up to YOU to make things happen. Don’t sit there and dwell about your insecurities – get up and do something about it! Make changes, slowly but surely. Eventually things will fall into place, you’ll feel better about yourself, you and your partner will love even more (or maybe you’ll figure out being single is the best thing for you mentally and emotionally). One day, you’ll get back up on that bike and never look back to the day you fell off countless times. Be confident! Make the best of your time and do what it takes to be a better version of yourself.

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